CoffeeBear.net

Human Virus Scanner

Posted by Mark | Filed under Quizzes

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suf­fer from:

Poke­mon
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

Linux
Install the lat­est ver­sion of Microsoft Win­dows. Learn to love it.

USA
Rule, Bri­tan­nia! Bri­tan­nia rule the waves! [repeat]

Junk­food
Eat some real food. Some­thing which you can iden­tify the source of every ingre­di­ent, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi
Stop wear­ing the stick-on ears.

Free BSD
The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a pen­guin at the zoo.

Reli­gion
Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dil­bert guy)

Japan
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

UNIX
Any­thing this old must be obse­lete. Go and install a nice mod­ern oper­at­ing sys­tem. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

Dis­cor­dia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hot­dog buns on a friday.

Win­dows
Try MacOS X. It’s based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Win­dows and it doesn’t suck.
As an extra fea­ture the boxes look nice.

Pol­i­tics
Stop caring!

Brand Names
Hav­ing a well-known name doesn’t make it good.

Hip­py­ism
Free love is passe and poten­tially dan­ger­ous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Com­puter Games
Stop star­ing at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doc­tor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Con­spir­acy The­ory
Face it, the elected gov­ern­ment is in con­trol. Actu­ally that’s quite scary.

Ultima
If you find one tell us.

Envi­ron­men­tal­ism
Con­sume more stuff! It’s eas­ier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Mac­in­tosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suf­fer from:

Gam­ing (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do some­thing with your life.

Indus­trial (70%)
Every­one likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should lis­ten to the Incred­i­ble String Band.

8-Bit (90%)
Poly­gons, all the poly­gons you can get are not enough.

X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.

Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Lis­ten to CD’s they don’t crackle.

Foot­ball (75%)
Do some­thing unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.

Click here to scan yourself

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