CoffeeBear.net

Top Ten Signs…

Posted by Mark | Filed under Humor

One of my co-workers was hav­ing a rough morn­ing and came up with this most amus­ing list.

Top Ten Signs That The Office You Work In Is Trans­form­ing You Into A Comic Book Super-Villain

10. You believe that Cor­po­rate Amer­ica was instinc­tively con­structed by the weak and stu­pid in order to pre­serve their gene pools and in accor­dance with Nat­ural Law it must even­tu­ally be destroyed.
9. You’re cer­tain you can take over the entire world if you can only “elim­i­nate” the twelve lev­els of man­age­ment between you and the CEO.
8. In those rare moments when things actu­ally work out for you, you’ve caught your­self grin­ning men­ac­ingly and say­ing, “Every­thing is going accord­ing to my plan.“
7. It seems as though every­one on the planet is an idiot except you even though you’re the one work­ing sixty hours per week on a mea­ger salary in a 6x6 cubi­cle and your only plan of escape is, “Destroy my ene­mies and assume con­trol of the world’s nuclear arse­nal.“
6. Nobody under­stands you except Lex Luthor as played by Michael Rosen­baum on the WB’s hit series “Smal­l­ville”.
5. You’ve become numb to the suf­fer­ing you hear reported on the news but read­ing “Dil­bert” makes you weep like a baby and renew your vows of global dom­i­na­tion.
4. You’re find­ing it more and more dif­fi­cult in casual con­ver­sa­tion not to refer to your cowork­ers as “hench­men”.
3. You keep try­ing to think of ways to bend the busi­ness pro­fes­sional dress code so as to allow you to wear your “Supreme Chan­cel­lor of Earth” out­fit to work.
2. You’re con­vinced that key mem­bers of your work group are spies and you have already plot­ted their grue­some deaths.
1. In your per­sonal daily plan­ner the career objec­tives “deliver world-class cus­tomer ser­vice” and “exceed pro­duc­tiv­ity goals” have been replaced by “vengeance” and “com­plete and utter vengeance”.

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