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3761 ways to go Bonkers

Posted by Mark | Filed under Life

• Have the den­tist tell you they want to do about $2000 worth of work inside your mouth, after they’ve already done roughly $900 worth.
• Hear­ing that your new den­tal insur­ance will only cover the first $1000 worth of work the den­tist wants to do.
• Take your car to the mechanic to have the brakes checked and the wiper fixed¹.
• Dri­ving past a per­fect photo oppor­tu­nity and real­iz­ing your cam­era is sit­ting on your desk at home.
• Have your wife call you the next day telling you the mechanic told her the car was done and the bill was $3761!
• Go to the mechanic to find out your wife needs to clean out her ears as your brakes are fine and the mechanic only charged us $37.61 to fix the wiper.
• Find out the sam­ple data you’ve been play­ing with at work was the wrong file from the data provider and you’re going to have to recre­ate all the same work all over again.
• See large pud­dles of water in your base­ment. Water seep­ing in from a side of the base­ment which has never got­ten wet before.
• Fig­ure out the plas­tic pipe from the sump-pump out­side the house has come un-clamped from the bit of pipe run­ning away from the house.
• Nar­rowly dodge a vast spray of water com­ing from the sump-pump.
• Quickly re-clamp the pipes, hop­ing not to get soaked.
• Watch the sump-pump force the water out a crack in the pipe, spray­ing down your neighbor’s fence.
• Unplug­ging the sump-pump, going out­side, cut­ting away the cracked por­tion of the pipe, re-clamping the pipes, send the wife down into the base­ment to plug in the sump-pump, stand­ing back hop­ing the clamp will hold.
• Watch­ing the clamp still leak.
• Decid­ing to go back inside anyway.
• While putting your tools away real­ize one of the joints on the inte­rior sump-pump pip­ing is now leak­ing more than when you started.
• Being told to shut-off the out­side lights when you’re grab­bing some slip­pers to go back to the switch to turn the lights off.
• Writ­ing 3744 fewer items in your list of 3761 ways to go bonkers.

¹ The driver-side wind­shield wiper kept com­ing loose and wouldn’t wipe the windshield.

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