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<channel>
	<title>CoffeeBear.net &#187; Oddities</title>
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	<link>http://coffeebear.net</link>
	<description></description>
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		<title>Killer Rabbits 2.0</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2009/03/25/killer-rabbits-20/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2009/03/25/killer-rabbits-20/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:18:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[3D]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[anime]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[videos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coffeebear.net/?p=860</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Monty Python’s killer rabbit has nothing on these bunnies from a new 3D animated show, by the Japanese, called — I kid you not – Cat Shit One. Found via Danny Choo Killer Rabbits 2.0 © Mark McKibben, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Monty Python’s <a title="Monty Python Killer Rabbit w/ Big Pointy Teeth Plush Toy | Amazon.com" href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000M9JC94/ref=nosim/musings07-20">killer rabbit</a> has nothing on these bunnies from a new 3D animated show, by the Japanese, called — I kid you not<em> </em>– <em>Cat Shit One</em>.</p>
<!--YouTube Error: bad URL entered-->
<p>Found via <a title="Cat Shit One | DannyChoo.com" href="http://www.dannychoo.com/detail/mac/eng/image/16348/Cat+Shit+One.html">Danny Choo</a></p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2009/03/25/killer-rabbits-20/">Killer Rabbits 2.0</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Happy Easter!</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2007/04/06/happy-easter/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2007/04/06/happy-easter/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Apr 2007 18:45:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Links]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holiday]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://coffeebear.net/archives/2007/04/06/happy-easter/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[BTW, the EB hates you! Happy Easter! © Mark McKibben, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><object width="425" height="350"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/BPb0po2jzfg"></param><param name="wmode" value="transparent"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/BPb0po2jzfg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" width="425" height="350"></embed></object><br />
BTW, the <abbr title="Easter Bunny">EB</abbr> hates you!</p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2007/04/06/happy-easter/">Happy Easter!</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Vending Machines</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/08/19/vending-machines/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/08/19/vending-machines/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 19 Aug 2004 20:46:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=119</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why is it that the same vending machine can drop a 12oz can of pop for you the instant you touch the button but takes 5 minutes to drop a 20oz bottle? Stupid vending machines! Vending Machines © Mark McKibben, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Why is it that the same vending machine can drop a 12oz can of pop for you the instant you touch the button but takes 5 minutes to drop a 20oz bottle?  Stupid vending machines!</p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/08/19/vending-machines/">Vending Machines</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Testing Meme Propagation In Blogspace: Add Your Blog!</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/08/08/testing-meme-propagation-in-blogspace-add-your-blog/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/08/08/testing-meme-propagation-in-blogspace-add-your-blog/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Aug 2004 03:01:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coffee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[firefox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[future]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Links]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[linux]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Meme]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[PHP]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Software]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Travel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[weight]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[WordPress]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=109</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Testing Meme Propagation In Blogspace: Add Your Blog! This posting is a community experiment that tests how a meme, represented by this blog posting, spreads across blogspace, physical space and time. It will help to show how ideas travel across blogs in space and time and how blogs are connected. It may also help to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Testing Meme Propagation In Blogspace: Add Your Blog!</p>
<p>This posting is a community experiment that tests how a meme, represented by this blog posting, spreads across blogspace, physical space and time. It will help to show how ideas travel across blogs in space and time and how blogs are connected. It may also help to show which blogs are most influential in the propagation of memes. The dataset from this experiment will be public, and can be located via Google (or Technorati) by doing a search for the GUID for this meme (below).<br />
<span id="more-109"></span><br />
The original posting for this experiment is located at: Minding the Planet (Permalink: http://novaspivack.typepad.com/nova_spivacks_weblog/2004/08/a_sonar_ping_of.html) —- results and commentary will appear there in the future.</p>
<p>Please join the test by adding your blog (see instructions, below) and inviting your friends to participate — the more the better. The data from this test will be public and open; others may use it to visualize and study the connectedness of blogspace and the propagation of memes across blogs.</p>
<p>The GUID for this experiment is: as098398298250swg9e98929872525389t9987898tq98wteqtgaq62010920352598gawst (this GUID enables anyone to easily search Google (or Technorati) for all blogs that participate in this experiment). Anyone is free to analyze the data of this experiment. Please publicize your analysis of the data, and/or any comments by adding comments onto the original post (see URL above). (Note: it would be interesting to see a geographic map or a temporal animation, as well as a social network map of the propagation of this meme.)<br />
INSTRUCTIONS</p>
<p>To add your blog to this experiment, copy this entire posting to your blog, and then answer the questions below, substituting your own information, below, where appropriate. Other than answering the questions below, please do not alter the information, layout or format of this post in order to preserve the integrity of the data in this experiment (this will make it easier for searchers and automated bots to find and analyze the results later).</p>
<p>REQUIRED FIELDS (Note: Replace the answers below with your own answers)</p>
<p>(1) I found this experiment at URL:</p>
<p>http://www.differentsky.com/</p>
<p>(2) I did not found it via a Newsreader Software (name of Newsreader Software)<br />
(3) I posted this experiment at URL: http://www.coffeebear.net/index.php?p=109<br />
(4) I posted this on date (day, month, year): 08/08/04<br />
(5) I posted this at time (24 hour time): 21:56:49 (GMT:-06:00, USA/Central)<br />
(6) My posting location is (city, state, country): Coralville, Iowa, United States of America</p>
<p>OPTIONAL SURVEY FIELDS (Replace the answers below with your own answers):<br />
(7) My blog is hosted by: WordPress<br />
(8) My age is: 28<br />
(9) My gender is: Male<br />
(10) My occupation is: Software Tester<br />
(11) I use the following RSS/Atom reader software: <a href="http://sage.mozdev.org/" title="Lightweight RSS and ATOM aggregator">Sage</a> Extension for <a href=http://www.mozilla.org/products/firefox/"" title="FireFox - The browser, reloaded">FireFox</a><br />
(12) I use the following software to post to my blog: WordPress<br />
(13) I have been blogging since (day, month, year): 11/03/04<br />
(14) My web browser is: Firefox<br />
(15) My operating system is: SuSE Linux Pro 9.0</p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/08/08/testing-meme-propagation-in-blogspace-add-your-blog/">Testing Meme Propagation In Blogspace: Add Your Blog!</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Quote of the Day</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/05/19/qoute-of-the-day/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/05/19/qoute-of-the-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 19 May 2004 14:55:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quotes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[radio]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=48</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Big boobs are very powerful.“ — Lizz Winstead Some days, I just love listening to Unfiltered on Air America Radio. Quote of the Day © Mark McKibben, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>“Big boobs are very powerful.“<br />
 — Lizz Winstead</p>
<p>Some days, I just love listening to <a href="http://airamericaradio.com/pub/prg2about.htm" title="Click here for more info about Unfiltered">Unfiltered</a> on Air America Radio.</p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/05/19/qoute-of-the-day/">Quote of the Day</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<item>
		<title>Good Signs</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/05/14/good-signs/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/05/14/good-signs/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 14 May 2004 22:26:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Books]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coffee]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[home]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quotes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sick]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[voting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=46</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A coworker of mine forwarded me the following list of signs: Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men — Women’s rest room Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Beauty is only a light switch away. — Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A coworker of mine forwarded me the following list of signs:</p>
<blockquote><p>
Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men<br />
 — Women’s rest room Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE </p>
<p>Beauty is only a light switch away.<br />
 — Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham</p>
<p>If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.<br />
 — Armand’s Pizza, Washington , DC</p>
<p>Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?“<br />
 — Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia</p>
<p>Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.<br />
 — The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO </p>
<p>No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.<br />
 — Men’s Room in Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC</p>
<p>At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.<br />
 — Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ</p>
<p>It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.<br />
 — Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg , AZ</p>
<p>Make love, not war. –Hell, do both GET MARRIED!<br />
 — Women’s restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT</p>
<p>If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.<br />
 — Revolution Books in New York , New York . </p>
<p>If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!<br />
 — Men’s restroom in House of Representatives, Washington , DC</p>
<p>Express Lane: Five beers or less<br />
 — Sign over one of the urinals in Ed Debevic’s, Phoenix, AZ</p>
<p>You’re too good for him.<br />
 — Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom in Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills ‚CA</p>
<p>No wonder you always go home alone.<br />
 — Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills ‚CA</p>
<p>A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.<br />
 — Women’s restroom in Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas, TX
</p></blockquote>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/05/14/good-signs/">Good Signs</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Signs That You’ve Been Watching Too Many Home Remodeling Shows</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/27/signs-that-youve-been-watching-too-many-home-remodeling-shows/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/27/signs-that-youve-been-watching-too-many-home-remodeling-shows/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Apr 2004 14:40:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[home]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[remodeling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tv]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=32</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You keep hoping that Surprise by Design will come to your apartment. You find yourself admiring the designs they come up with on Trading Spaces. You audition for ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition to try and get your dog house rebuilt Some of your friends take a vacation, ask you to housesit their place and [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<ul>
<li>You keep hoping that <a href="http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/surprisebydesign/surprisebydesign.html" title="Discovery Channel :: Surprise by Design">Surprise by Design</a> will come to your apartment.</li>
<li>You find yourself admiring the designs they come up with on <a href="http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/tradingspaces/tradingspaces.html" title="TLC :: Trading Spaces">Trading Spaces</a>.</li>
<li>You audition for <a href="http://abc.go.com/primetime/xtremehome/" title="ABC's Extreme Makeover: Home Edition">ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition</a> to try and get your dog house rebuilt</li>
<li>Some of your friends take a vacation, ask you to housesit their place and you remodel their bathroom the week that they’re gone.</li>
</ul>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/27/signs-that-youve-been-watching-too-many-home-remodeling-shows/">Signs That You’ve Been Watching Too Many Home Remodeling Shows</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Clever Little Sayings</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/26/clever-little-sayings/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/26/clever-little-sayings/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Apr 2004 19:11:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Noteworthy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quotes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strange]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=30</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Back in my high school days, I used to collect buttons with various different sayings on them. These days, I use those buttons to decorate my cube at work. A friend stopped by my cube today and mentioned a saying he saw on an Internet message board and it inspired me to write this post. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Back in my high school days, I used to collect buttons with various different sayings on them.  These days, I use those buttons to decorate my cube at work.  A friend stopped by my cube today and mentioned a saying he saw on an Internet message board and it inspired me to write this post.</p>
<p>The saying he mentioned to me:</p>
<blockquote><p>Jesus saves!  All others take damage as normal</p></blockquote>
<p>The buttons on my cube walls:</p>
<blockquote>
<ul>
<li>So Much To Do, So Few People To Do It For Me</li>
<li>Why Let Reality Wreck Your Day?</li>
<li>I’m so bored, I may resort to doing some work.</li>
<li>Support Your Local Planet</li>
<li>Legally, It’s Questionable.<br />
Morally, It’s Disgusting.<br />
Personally, I Like It.</li>
<li>I Intend To Live Forever, Or Die Trying.</li>
<li>Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off until further notice.</li>
<li>Computer Lesson One: Nice Computers Don’t Go down.<br />
Computer Lesson Two: There Is No Such Thing As A Nice Computer.</li>
<li>Spoil Me!</li>
<li>To Be The Best, Kill The Rest.</li>
<li>Born To Run<br />
(To The Fridge Between Commercials.)</li>
<li>If I promise to miss you, will you go away?</li>
<li>4 out of 5<br />
voices in my head say<br />
“GO FOR IT”</li>
<li>Nuke’em Till They Glow, Then Shoot’em In The Dark.</li>
<li>You’re perverted, twisted &amp; sick.<br />
I like that in a person.</li>
<li>We are the people our parents warned us about.</li>
<li>We,<br />
the unwilling<br />
lead by the unknowing,<br />
are doing the impossible,<br />
for the ungrateful.</li>
<li>Excuse Me While I Change Into Something More Formidable.</li>
<li>I’d Humilate You But I’m Afraid You Might Like It.</li>
<li>God’s In A Meeting — May I Help You?</li>
<li>The only difference between a lawyer and a vulture is removable wing tips.</li>
<li>Go ahead and talk to me.<br />
My day was ruined anyway.</li>
<li>Piss me off, pay the consequences.</li>
<li>Stop Staring At Me When I’m Invisible!</li>
<li>It isn’t being weird.</li>
<li>Don’t mess with me, man.<br />
I’M CRAZY.</li>
<li>What is it about “no” that confuses you?</li>
<li>Another Brilliant Mind Ruined By Education.</li>
<li>If At First You Don’t Succeed, But The GM’s Pizza.</li>
<li>Accepting reality is the first step to insanity.</li>
<li>I DON’T DO MORNINGS</li>
<li>Rock Is Dead — Long live paper and scissors</li>
<li>Does The Noise In My Head Bother You?</li>
</ul>
</blockquote>
<p>Right, that’s my bit of sharing for today.  Your assignment is to find another clever little saying that you can post on your own blog or write in a comment on this post.</p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/26/clever-little-sayings/">Clever Little Sayings</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>FAQ to Hell</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/23/faq-to-hell/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/23/faq-to-hell/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 Apr 2004 21:25:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faq]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humour]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=29</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of my co-workers/friends went to Hell* recently and upon his return sent out this FAQ regarding his visit. Is there a highway to Hell? Yes. It is Michigan county road D-32. And yes, I was also disappointed with this designation. For fun, the residents of Hell like to call the highway Route 666, but [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of my co-workers/friends went to Hell* recently and upon his return sent out this FAQ regarding his visit.</p>
<blockquote><p>
<strong>Is there a highway to Hell?</strong><br />
Yes.  It is Michigan county road D-32.  And yes, I was also disappointed with this designation.  For fun, the residents of Hell like to call the highway Route 666, but apparently the officials of Livingston County don’t have a sense of humor.</p>
<p><strong>Is the road to Hell really paved with good intentions?</strong><br />
Yes.  But, not surprisingly, good intentions look and feel a lot like asphalt.</p>
<p><strong>Is Hell under-ground?</strong><br />
The village of Hell is not under-ground.  Or, at least the tourist spots aren’t.  It’s possible that the shop I stopped in had a back way to the under-ground areas of Hell, but apparently I didn’t have security clearance to see that.</p>
<p><strong>Isn’t it true that once you enter Hell, you can never leave?</strong><br />
Yes, unless you are awarded an exit visa.  In order to secure an exit visa, all you have to do is buy something in Hell’s gift shop.</p>
<p><strong>Uh… that doesn’t make sense.  If all it took to get out of Hell was to buy a hokey souvenir, wouldn’t tortured souls be leaving Hell in droves?</strong><br />
Tortured souls don’t have money.  Duh.  And besides, what can be more torturous than knowing that you could escape Hell if only you had one lousy dollar to buy a “See You In Hell” refrigerator magnet?  (There is one theologian who believes that Hell exit visas did, in fact, result in a mass exodus from Hell in 1992, explaining the unusually high number of people who, in the presidential election that year, voted for Ross Perot.)</p>
<p><strong>What is the temperature of Hell?</strong><br />
This is a very important question, as people are constantly saying things like, “It’s hotter than Hell” or “It’s colder than Hell”, clearly without knowing what they are talking about.  The truth is, the temperature in the village of Hell varies, like the rest of Michigan, with the seasons.  This makes sense when you think about it.  Nothing says “Hell” like not knowing what to wear in the spring and fall.</p>
<p><strong>Did you see any demons?</strong><br />
Since demons typically move about in disguise, this is an impossible question to answer.  I did see a guy driving a pickup with a “Perot in ‘04” bumper-sticker on it, though.</p>
<p><strong>Did you meet Satan?</strong><br />
No.  Contrary to popular belief, Satan does not reside in Hell.  No rock stars were living there either.  Not above-ground, anyway.</p>
<p><strong>Did Hell look anything like Dante’s Inferno?</strong><br />
Dante’s Inferno is a work of fiction.  I suppose it’s possible that the under-ground areas of Hell, if they exist, might look like Dante’s description of Hell.  But I have no reason to believe Dante would have merited access to these areas while I would not.  I’m a manager, for cripes sakes.</p>
<p><strong>Did you see Cerberus?</strong><br />
There is no gate to the village of Hell, and thus no three-headed dogs guarding it.  If “lower regions” exist and there is a gate to these regions, I didn’t see it.</p>
<p><strong>Did you see the river Styx?</strong><br />
Yes.  But the locals call it Hell Creek.  Hell creek is dammed (appropriately enough), creating a lake that, I’m told, is very pleasant to swim in.</p>
<p><strong>Do people who take a dip become immortal, like Achilles?</strong><br />
Nobody will say.  When Achilles was killed, his mother, Thetis, filed a lawsuit against Hades for false advertising.  Ever since then, the extraordinary qualities of Hell Creek have been downplayed.  I’d have tested it myself, but it was freezing when I was there, and living forever just didn’t seem worth it.</p>
<p><strong>So did you see Hades, then?</strong><br />
No.  Hades retired from public life not long after the Achilles scandal.  He now runs a Hooters restaurant in Saginaw.</p>
<p><strong>Were the people nice to you?</strong><br />
The people were extremely nice, as you would expect from a Midwestern, small-town community.  If this runs counter to your hell-logical sensitivities, then consider one of the following:  either the residents of Hell are demons who welcome a break from being cruel, or the residents of Hell are the human damned who welcome the break from being tortured.  I reckon they’re just good ‘ol Midwestern folk, but I’m not going to force my religious convictions on others.</p>
<p><strong>Hell actually sounds a lot more boring than I imagined.  Is it?</strong><br />
Admittedly, most of the fun in visiting Hell is in telling people you’ve been there.  But isn’t that true about most places? How many times have you heard people visiting the Grand Canyon say, “This is it???” Sure… it happens all the time.  But I’ll visit Hell again.  I thought it was fun.</p>
<p><strong>Where do I get some of that premium merchandise you brought back from your trip?</strong><br />
You can just go to Hell.</p>
<p>Or you can visit Hell’s website at <a href="http://www.hell2u.com">www.hell2u.com</a>.
</p></blockquote>
<p>* <a href="http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tips/getAttraction.php3?tip_AttractionNo==2456" title="Hell, Michigan - The Town of Hell - More info">Hell, Michigan</a></p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/23/faq-to-hell/">FAQ to Hell</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Disturbing Stuffed Animals</title>
		<link>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/09/disturbing-stuffed-animals/</link>
		<comments>http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/09/disturbing-stuffed-animals/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Apr 2004 16:17:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Oddities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[March-of-Dimes]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">/?p=15</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here I am sitting at my desk, trying to figure out whether or the program I test is working correctly or not. I’m going over some printouts when a co-worker walks up trying to sell stuffed animals as a fund raiser for March of Dimes; only I’m out of cash and politely tell her so. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Here I am sitting at my desk, trying to figure out whether or the program I test is working correctly or not.  I’m going over some printouts when a co-worker walks up trying to sell stuffed animals as a fund raiser for <a href="http://www.modimes.org/" title="March of Dimes">March of Dimes</a>; only I’m out of cash and politely tell her so.  As she’s walking away another of my co-workers starts talking to her about the stuffed animals and that’s when I take a real look at them.  They’re little brown bunnies but instead of feet the bunnies have putrid green lambs  I think the idea is supposed to be that the toy is wearing lamb slippers, but the result to my tired and twisted brain is that the bunnies are the survivors of some mad scientists genetic experiments.</p>
<p>You know the more I think about those bunnies; the more I think I should go get some cash and buy one.  :D</p>
<p><small><a href="http://coffeebear.net/2004/04/09/disturbing-stuffed-animals/">Disturbing Stuffed Animals</a> © <a href="http://coffeebear.net" rel="cc:attributionURL">Mark McKibben</a>, <a rel="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/3.0/us/">Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 United States</a>.</small></p>]]></content:encoded>
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