Episode III: Revenge of the Sith

Yup, I finally went and saw this wretched bit of crap that Lucas put out. It was less horrifically bad than I had anticipated but still failed to be a good movie. The dialog was cheesy and the acting wooden. In particular “Annie” aka Darth Vader blew chunks, though he did get slightly better once he was in the Vader suit. To be fair though, the special effects were kind of nice; nothing particularlly innovative (just lots of CG). Still the massive battle scenes were cool. The individual battles of Jedi vs. Sith were just as cheesy as the dialog with tons of flips and swirls that almost looked impressive but were actually a massively dumb way to fight. Overall, I’ll give E3:RotS 1 star out of 5 (vs. -24 for E1:tPM).

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Now that you mentioned it, yes, there is something weird about the almost gay ballet of light saber fighting that Lucas endorsed in the new trilogy. Do you really need to flip and turn so much? Did Lucas watch Highlander? Or maybe he went to a performance of Cats on Broadway and thought: “Wow, cool cat like reflexes for Jedis would be cool!”

The way I see it, the special effects were cool, but Trey Parker did a much better action film without the benefit of CGI and it was freaking awesome…. Go Team America!

Team America? Dude, you’re just longing for more of that sick, puppet sex!

I should have listened to my gut, and waited until someone — anyone — told me they thought the movie was a good, solid, movie. When I have kids, I will show them 4, 5, and 6, and then say, “sadly, an evil man then betrayed and murdered George Lucas.”

One star is about right for Eps 1 and 3, as it then allows Ep2 to receive 1/2 a star.

Perhaps someday (after Lucas croaks), somebody with talent will make eps 7-9. That would restore balance to the universe. 🙂

Nah, Ep1 isn’t worth a single star.

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