Author: Mark

Mark works as a [REDACTED] for [REDACTED], currently residing in Iowa. CoffeeBear.net is a place for him to blather on about whatever strikes his fancy. He currently spends his "free" time working on a photography project, playing with his cat and attempting to keep his wife happy (not necessarily in that order).

Ok, I’ve been saving these quizzes up for a while now but the Cthulhu one was the straw that broke the camel’s back. So enjoy the insanity!

You scored as William Wallace. The great Scottish warrior William Wallace led his people against their English oppressors in a campaign that won independence for Scotland and immortalized him in the hearts of his countrymen. With his warrior’s heart, tactician’s mind, and poet’s soul, Wallace was a brilliant leader. He just wanted to live a simple life on his farm, but he gave it up to help his country in its time of need.

William Wallace
63%

Batman, the Dark Knight
58%

Neo, the "One"
58%

Captain Jack Sparrow
54%

James Bond, Agent 007
54%

El Zorro
54%

The Amazing Spider-Man
54%

Lara Croft
50%

Indiana Jones
50%

The Terminator
50%

Maximus
46%

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0
created with QuizFarm.com

You're Ash, baby.
Gimme some sugar baby.

Which B-Movie Badass Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Snuffleupagus
You scored 66% Organization, 48% abstract, and 61% extroverted!

This test measured 3 variables.

First, this test measured how organized you are. Some muppets like Cookie Monster make big messes, while others like Bert are quite anal about things being clean.

Second, this test measured if you prefer a concrete or an abstract viewpoint. For the purposes of this test, concrete people are considered to gravitate more to mathematical and logical approaches, whereas abstract people are more the dreamers and artistic type.

Third, this test measured if you are more of an introvert or an extrovert. By definition, an introvert concentrates more on herself and an extrovert focuses more on others. In this test an introvert was somebody that either tends to spend more time alone or thinks more about herself.

You are somewhat organized, both concrete and abstract, and both introverted and extroverted.

I bet you didn’t think you were Snuffleupagus. Let’s find out why.

You are both somewhat organized. You have a good idea where you put things and you probably keep your place reasonably clean. You aren’t totally obsessed with neatness though. Alloyius Snuffleupagus (and all Snuffleupagus’) is not sloppy by nature, but he moves so incredibly slowly that it is impossible for him to be totally organized.

You both are about equally concrete and abstract thinkers. You have a good balance in your life. You know when to be logical at times, but you also aren’t afraid to explore your dreams and desires… within limits of course. Snuffy generally has very basic interests, but he explores his abstract sensitive side when he plays his snuffleflute.

You both are somewhat introverted. Originally Snuffleupagus was very shy and was only Big Bird’s invisible friend. However as he has aged he has started to build new friendships with new characters. Like Snuffy, you probably like to have some time to yourself. However, you do appreciate spending time with your friends, and you aren’t scared of social situations.

The other possible characters are

Oscar the Grouch
Big Bird
Cookie Monster
Ernie
Elmo
Kermit the Frog
Grover
The Count
Guy Smiley
Bert

If you enjoyed this test, I would love the feedback! Also if you want to tell me your favorite Sesame Street character, I can total them up and post them here. Perhaps your choice will win!

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

OKCupid.com OKCupid.com
You scored higher than 72% on Organization
OKCupid.com OKCupid.com
You scored higher than 42% on concrete-abstra
OKCupid.com OKCupid.com
You scored higher than 51% on intro-extrovert

Link: The Your SESAME STREET Persona Test written by greencowsgomoo on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test
You Are A: Bear Cub!

bear cubBears are strong and independent creatures who roam in the forest in search of food. Bears are usually gentle, but anger one and be prepared for their full fury! You’re big, you’re tough, you won’t back down from a fight — classic attributes of a bear. Intelligent and resourceful, though lazy at times, you are a fascinating creature of the wild.

You were almost a: Monkey or a Parakeet
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a SquirrelWhat Cute Animal Are You?

Oh Great Cthulhu!

I have been an extremely diligent devotee this year.

In May, I rescued [info]amabaku from being sacrificed (-200 points). Last week, I recruited [info]aizuchi as a new cultist (30 points). In October, I burnt my copy of the Necronomicon (-75 points). When the stars were right, I rammed a ship into you (sorry Cthulhu!) (-1000 points). In September, I stopped [info]aizuchi from defiling Lovecraft’s grave (-20 points). In June, I exposed [info]komainu to soul-rending horrors (250 points).

In short, I have been very bad (-1015 points) and deserve to be flayed alive.

Your humble and obedient servant,

manzabar


Submit your own plea to Cthulhu!

We’re getting our first real snow of the season. We’ve had a few clouds piss some snow down on us twice before. But it wasn’t hard enough to do more than pepper the ground and that was gone in hours. Tonight’s snow storm is expected to leave a good couple inches on the ground and looking out the window it looks so peaceful. Come morning though, the snow will have been disturbed by those unfortunately souls who have to be at work before I do. Plus I’ll have to clear the snow from my car which never puts me in a good mood. *sigh*

Do you run WP? Do you also have Akismet installed? Would you like a quick reference on the Dashboard showing you some info from Akismet? I do and did want this. Since I have zero idea on how to set this up as a plugin; I simply added the code into /wp-admin/index.php. I scanned through the file until I found the section of code which creates the “Latest Activity” box. Then between the sections for “Blog Stats” and “Incoming Links”1, I added the following code:

<h3><a href="http://akismet.com/" title="Stop Comment Spam and Trackback Spam « Akismet">Akismet</a> Stats</h3>
<? php
$deadspam = get_option('akismet_spam_count');
$livespam = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT COUNT(comment_ID) FROM $wpdb->comments WHERE comment_approved = 'spam'");
$sitelink = $wpdb->get_var("SELECT option_value FROM $wpdb->options WHERE option_id = '1'");
print "Killed Spam Count: $deadspam\n";
if ($livespam == 0) {
print "Your spam queue is empty!";
} else {
print "<strong>Possible Spam Count: <a href="https://coffeebear.net/wp-admin/$sitelink/wp-admin/edit.php?page=akismet.php" title="Click here to see the moderation queue">$livespam</a></strong>\n";
}
?>

There’s undoubtably a more elegant way of retrieving and displaying this information. And for somebody who actually writes PHP code regularly, this might even be a quick and easy plugin to create. Unfortunately, I’ve only read part of a book about PHP; so this is about as far as I can currently take the hack. Unlike what some people think, WordPress does not require you to be a PHP guru. It only requires a webserver with PHP, MySQL & a little patience2.

NOTE: THIS IS A CORE WORDPRESS FILE! EDIT AT YOUR OWN RISK! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU HOSE YOUR BLOG, SERVER, LIFE, THE UNIVERSE, AND EVERYTHING! BACKUP EVERYTHING BEFORE YOU EVEN CONSIDER ATTEMPTING THIS! ONLY ATTEMPT THIS HACK IF YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE EDITING CORE WORDPRESS FILES.

Update: Neto Cury was kind enough to point out an error in the above code. Though to be fair it’s not entirely my fault. I pasted into this post the exact code I used in my file, but something in WP or one of the plugins I use appears to have changed the first part of the PHP coding from <? php to < ?php. I’m not sure what caused that, but to help people avoid getting errors; I’ve uploaded a text file containing the code for the hack. You can download that file here.

Update #2: Fixed a typo in the previous update. Sorry about that Neto!

Update #3 2007-04-21: I’ve updated this hack to modify the akismet plugin file (Akismet v2.0 for WordPress 2.1.3) instead of one of the WordPress core files. Read about it here.

1 Blog Stats ends at line 85 in my file and at the time of this writing I am running WordPress 1.5.2.
2 This is true of every CMS that I’ve looked at.