Day: July 11, 2004

YOU ARE THE ATACAMA DESERT

You are the driest area on Earth. Your annual rainfall is roughly the depth of a dollar bill. In fact, often you can go for several years without any precipitation whatsoever. If you wanted to fill a pint glass by rainfall alone, you would have to have started in 1704, five years before the invention of the piano; to get enough water to drown a man of average height would take 3600 years, or the time between us and the Hittites. You really put Canadian “dry” ginger ale into perspective.

I am the Atacama Desert!
Which Extremity of the World Are You?
From the towering colossi at Rum and Monkey.

You’ve been here since the dawn of time itself, old timer, and you’ve been biding your time with your eye on the boss’s job.

You deserved to have a promotion. You’ve been here longer than anyone else. Your fingers have become craggy, and you see Excel spreadsheets when you go to sleep at night. More than half your life has been spent at budget meetings, advertising liason sessions, team-building seminars and pub lunches with people you hate. Yet for some reason you’ve been passed over every time in favour of younger, less competent workers.

No more. You’re at the end of your tether. Where’s your gold watch? Where’s your acknowledgement? Your raises? When does your time come around?

Your time is now, hombre.

Give me what's rightfully mine! Or I'll hit you with this brick.
Which Office Moron Are You?
Rum and Monkey: jamming your photocopier one tray at a time.

I really wish Threadless wasn’t out of this shirt.

What does a t-shirt have to do with the future? Here’s the text from the shirt:

this was
supposed to be
the future

where is my jetpack,
where is my robotic companion,
where is my dinner in pill form,
where is my hydrogen fueled automobile,
where is my nuclear powered levitating house,

where is my cure for this disease