Review: The Marine

Mark’s Rating: 1.75 out of 5 stars

Friday, Ariesna and I were originally planning on having guests over. When we found out they were all canceling due to the weather; we hit up the video store and got a couple of movies. When we got home, the first one we watched was The Marine. I’d selected it because I remembered the trailers leading me to believe it would be a fun action flick. However after watching it, I have to declare it to be a steaming flaming pile of poo. From weak fight sequences to bad acting, this movie embodies the worst hackneyed and cliched parts of every C-movie action flick ever to be made. That being said if one watches this movie, thinking of it more like a parody of the genre (e.g. in the vein of Scary Movie) then it can be enjoyable. I spent the vast majority of the film’s 91 minutes laughing as cliche after cliche was perpetrated on the screen. I cannot, in good conscience, recommend this film to any one; though it could make the basis of a good drinking game (every one takes a shot for every cliche used in the film). However one would have to be careful with such a game to avoid getting alcohol poisoning!


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My rite of passage was in 1982, when I saw the weakest fight scenes, the worst ‘acting’, and the most cliches per crapita ever stuffed into a movie. I’d stack what I consistently call THE worst movie I’ve EVER seen — Forced Vengeance — against your action movie, sight unseen. Of course, in a bet like that, nobody wins.

This was before I knew you could walk out of a movie and get a refund, and before I actually had a car to drive home from the theatre myself.

Chuck Norris can save Vietnam MIAs, but even he couldn’t save this film.

Sorry but that’s one bet I’m going not going to take you up on.

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