Monthly Archives: May, 2004

Good Signs

A coworker of mine forwarded me the following list of signs:

Friends don’t let friends take home ugly men
– Women’s rest room Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE

Beauty is only a light switch away.
– Perkins Library, Duke University , Durham

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let’s all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
– Armand’s Pizza, Washington , DC

Remember, it’s not, “How high are you?” it’s “Hi, how are you?”
– Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
– The Bayou, Baton Rouge , LO

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
– Men’s Room in Linda’s Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill , NC

At the feast of ego everyone leaves hungry.
– Bentley’s House of Coffee and Tea, Tucson, AZ

It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.
– Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg , AZ

Make love, not war. -Hell, do both GET MARRIED!
– Women’s restroom The Filling Station, Bozeman, MT

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
– Revolution Books in New York , New York .

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
– Men’s restroom in House of Representatives, Washington , DC

Express Lane: Five beers or less
– Sign over one of the urinals in Ed Debevic’s, Phoenix, AZ

You’re too good for him.
– Sign over mirror in Women’s restroom in Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills ,CA

No wonder you always go home alone.
– Sign over mirror in Men’s restroom, Ed Debevic’s, Beverly Hills ,CA

A Woman’s Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you’re going to have trouble with it.
– Women’s restroom in Dick’s Last Resort, Dallas, TX

Douglas Adams’s Starship Titanic

I finished reading Douglas Adams’s Starship Titanic quite a while back but just didn’t feel motivated to write a review about it. Don’t get me wrong; I think Terry Jones did a wonderful job and I did enjoy it a lot (4.5 out of 5 points). I just didn’t feel like writing another review, so I am going to give the reviews a rest for now. I’ll probably restart them when I read a book that’s new to me (right now I’m reading through Asimov’s Foundation series).

Realistic Friendship Promises

I saw this post over at Mindful Musings and thought it was too cool, but also too short. So here’s the revised list:

  1. When you are sad, I will get you drunk and will help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
  2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
  3. When you smile, I will know you finally got laid and give you a high five.
  4. When you are scared, I will rag you about it every chance I get.
  5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
  6. When you are confused, I will use small words and draw pictures to explain.
  7. When you are sick, stay the hell away from me until you’re well again. I don’t want whatever you have.
  8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
  1. When you do something stupid, I will let you know. By pointing it out as loudly as possible to make sure you never do it again.
  2. When you get drunk off your ass, I will drive you home. But only because I am going to shave your eyebrows off.
  3. When you are lonely, I will keep my eyes open to find a mate for you. But I will never set you up on a blind date; unless you ask for it and then I will laugh at how desperate you’ve become.
  4. When you are angry, I will help you kick the other guy’s ass.
  5. When you are in love, I will be supportive even if I think s/he’s totally unworthy of you.
  6. When you get married, I will be happy to show up at your wedding and eat the free food. I will even try to find you a wedding present that you might like.
  7. When you have kids, I will give you my congratulations and then immediately change my phone number so you can never ask me to babysit your kid.

Ok, so my additions to the list aren’t as good as the original stuff; but what the heck, I had fun writing them.

Funny, Damn Funny!

A friend at work sent me a link to this video, How Not To Get Your Ass Kicked By The Police by Chris Rock.

It’s not entirely work safe (turn your speakers down or wear some headphones while watching it) but it’s damn funny! 😀

What’s on Your Six?

AWelkin said:

Sometimes I wonder about pieces of my life, whether I like them or not. I do mostly like my life, but I know there are things I would do differently if resources like time or money weren’t an issue. Today what I want you to consider is what your fantasy life.

NOT well, I’d get a million dollars and live on a yacht with Orlando Bloom (although there’s nothing wrong with that fantasy, that’s not the kind of thing we’re after.) Here’s what I’m talking about: what kind of changes would you make in your life, the life you have now, to improve its quality.

Shen then listed 6 things; I liked the idea, so here are my six:

  1. I’d get 7 solid hours of sleep every night. By solid, I mean none of that weak@$$ lying in bed waiting for sleep to come, but honest to God deep REM sleep.
  2. I would carry a camera with me everywhere I go and work at bringing my photography skills back up to snuff.
  3. I would be living in a nice, cozy house (with plenty of storage!) rather than my rather cramped apartment.
  4. I’d change the dresscode at work so I could wear t-shirts again.
  5. I’d take up Tai Chi or some form of martial arts to get into better shape.
  6. I’d spend an hour everyday in a sunlit room working on my drawing skills.

What’s on your six? Feel free to answer here or in your own blog.

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