Human Virus Scanner

The virus that have infected you will be show here along with thier cures, if known.

Viruses you suffer from:

Pokemon
Pikachu! Use your hyper-electric-get-a-life move now!

Linux
Install the latest version of Microsoft Windows. Learn to love it.

USA
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves! [repeat]

Junkfood
Eat some real food. Something which you can identify the source of every ingredient, not the point of manufacture.

Sci-fi
Stop wearing the stick-on ears.

Free BSD
The GPL isn’t that bad really. Adopt a penguin at the zoo.

Religion
Read “God’s Debris” by Scott Adams (yes, the Dilbert guy)

Japan
Big is good. Small is bad. Giant robots would not make a good last line of defence for Earth.

UNIX
Anything this old must be obselete. Go and install a nice modern operating system. I hear MSDOS has come a long way lately.

Discordia
Buy a suit. Invest your money. Eat hotdog buns on a friday.

Windows
Try MacOS X. It’s based on UNIX, it has a smoother UI than Windows and it doesn’t suck.
As an extra feature the boxes look nice.

Politics
Stop caring!

Brand Names
Having a well-known name doesn’t make it good.

Hippyism
Free love is passe and potentially dangerous, and patchouli smells like cat piss.

Computer Games
Stop staring at the screen and get some fresh air. You should see a doctor about the RSI in your thumbs.

Conspiracy Theory
Face it, the elected government is in control. Actually that’s quite scary.

Ultima
If you find one tell us.

Environmentalism
Consume more stuff! It’s easier to buy new stuff than to recycle.

Macintosh
Use a mouse with more than one button.

Viruses you might suffer from:

Gaming (70%)
Life is not a game. Roll 3D6. On a 4 or more go out and do something with your life.

Industrial (70%)
Everyone likes folk. No, really. Maybe you should listen to the Incredible String Band.

8-Bit (90%)
Polygons, all the polygons you can get are not enough.

X11 (60%)
I hear Mac OS 10 Aqua is nice at this time of year.

Prog Rock (60%)
Long hair looks dumb with a bald spot. Listen to CD’s they don’t crackle.

Football (75%)
Do something unhealthy and indoors, away from the Bears.

Click here to scan yourself

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