One of my co-workers was having a rough morning and came up with this most amusing list.
Top Ten Signs That The Office You Work In Is Transforming You Into A Comic Book Super-Villain
10. You believe that Corporate America was instinctively constructed by the weak and stupid in order to preserve their gene pools and in accordance with Natural Law it must eventually be destroyed.
9. You’re certain you can take over the entire world if you can only “eliminate” the twelve levels of management between you and the CEO.
8. In those rare moments when things actually work out for you, you’ve caught yourself grinning menacingly and saying, “Everything is going according to my plan.”
7. It seems as though everyone on the planet is an idiot except you even though you’re the one working sixty hours per week on a meager salary in a 6×6 cubicle and your only plan of escape is, “Destroy my enemies and assume control of the world’s nuclear arsenal.”
6. Nobody understands you except Lex Luthor as played by Michael Rosenbaum on the WB’s hit series “Smallville”.
5. You’ve become numb to the suffering you hear reported on the news but reading “Dilbert” makes you weep like a baby and renew your vows of global domination.
4. You’re finding it more and more difficult in casual conversation not to refer to your coworkers as “henchmen”.
3. You keep trying to think of ways to bend the business professional dress code so as to allow you to wear your “Supreme Chancellor of Earth” outfit to work.
2. You’re convinced that key members of your work group are spies and you have already plotted their gruesome deaths.
1. In your personal daily planner the career objectives “deliver world-class customer service” and “exceed productivity goals” have been replaced by “vengeance” and “complete and utter vengeance”.