Before dinner this evening, my wife & I walked down to our local Farmer’s Market. It was a bit hotter out than I’d thought it would be, making me extra glad we’d brought along bottles of iced tea to drink. However upon returning home, we were dismayed to find our apartment to be a scene of some illegal dumping.
The Accused: Captain Jack — known aliases “Jack”, “Captain”, “Fuzz Butt”, “Stinky”, “Jacque”
The Crime: Illegal dumping (e.g. pooping on the bathmat not more than two feet from his litter box).
The Prosecuting Attorney: Me.
The Judge: Her Honourable Judge Michelle1
Statement by the Prosecution: In this apartment there are 3 living beings; myself, my wife and Captain Jack. Two of them were out of the apartment at the time of the incident. No illegal dumping had occurred prior to Michelle & I leaving for the Farmer’s Market. The apartment was securely locked while we were gone and there were no signs of forced entry.
Statement by the Accused: *meow*
Verdict: Guilty as charged. The accused is to have his nose pointed at, but not quite in, the illegal dumping to show him what he did wrong. Further, the accused is to held in solitary confinement for a period of not less than 10 and not more than 30 minutes.
1 Judge Judy ain’t got nothin’ on my wife! *grin*